Moving Inward

Today I find myself turning inward.  It is a place of longing, a place I only want to share with one person. The need for closeness is strong, the need for intimacy, a place in me that has gone untended for so long. 

It’s a place I can’t wrap the words around and so I wont try. Perhaps another day I will tackle the topic of intimacy, a much misunderstood word. I’m lost in my thoughts of another today and wish I could open the door and find him waiting. 

 

Sharing

As I sat looking over my entry from yesterday, I wondered to myself if I should post things like that at all. Perhaps such experiences should be kept on the pages of a private journal, never shared. It did tend to look like some made up tale from a sleep over filled with giggly young girls. It’s difficult to discuss happenings from the mystical side of life even though there may be a deep desire to share, as I felt yesterday.

There is a side to me that craves answers for all things. In this mystical side of the world, there are no answers but the ones that come to you from deep within. I have had to learn to hear them, balancing those messages with a past that has filled me with uncertainty. It is easy for me to doubt, to dismiss the very things I see before me. Sometimes those messages come to me with strength to push their way through those doubts and uncertainties, helping me learn to trust in myself and in others. So it was with the message yesterday. The working was filled with intense energy and this energy continued working long after I left the site where I worked my craft. When I returned home this morning there were more things that defied explanation.

There can be no doubt in the message, not this time. The love that was sent was returned and the beauty of it still fills this very room where I sit. Tell me how not to share that with others.

Magical Moments

It’s been a night of very strong energy this new moon. I slept very little last night, the energy surrounding me, making words fall from me with ease at a time when I wanted only to sleep. Still the energy was beautiful and I could do nothing but lie awake in it’s presence, feeling the love speak with me and through me. I suppose that all sounds very dramatic indeed.

This energy has followed me today and I finally put it to use in a working, something I had intended to do during the wee hours. I wrote a letter and sent it a bit unconventionally, trying something new. I plan to post one as well as I’m a fairly practical person. As I worked with the energy sending the emotions and words of the letter, I felt a tremendous strength fill me. Tired but peaceful after my efforts I extinguished my candles and went off to make my dinner. Upon returning to my place of crafting, I found the candle used for the subject burning. When I had left it was completely burned down and had gone out on it’s own. I lit the candle representing me, because I felt like I should and I then set about to light the others. I relented leaving things with just the two candles, and set about doing other things. When I returned the red candle representing the love I had poured into the working, was now burning, and it burned until there was nothing left at the bottom of the candle holder. The subject candle still bears a flame, a mystery to me as it should have gone out ages ago.

Perhaps this sounds like a made up tale of magic. Trust me when I say I don’t make up such things. I have no time for made up nonsense and as my son would tell you, I’m a skeptic who questions all things. As I sit now watching the flames of our two candles, I know that sometimes things just line up in this universe and there is nothing that can diminish the magic of such moments.