Last night was spent thinking, unfortunately for most of the night. I slept off and on and mulled over my life and where it has been and where it might be going. As I thought about the changes that could be coming, my first thought was to panic a bit and think “I’m not ready.” That’s a natural thought for me. I have to think and think before I actually do and then I make the jump suddenly when no one is expecting it. I think that’s kind of how things are unfolding now for me. I have spent the last few years thinking and thinking and now I’m about to jump.
My friend from Canada called me and that helped a bit but I could have used her here last night. My house full of boys settled in at a fairly decent hour I am fortunate for that but I am exhausted and need everyone to be gone so I can just go back to bed and try and sleep. Everything seems ok this morning like it’s falling into place unlike last night when I felt scattered. Still I have that strong need to be wrapped up and taken care of.
It would seem I’ve spent the last 12 months being kick started into action. It’s been a bit of a wild ride filled with ups and downs and some things I can’t explain. I can only wonder where I’ll be in another 12 months.