The last couple of days I’ve been trying to write something here. I can’t tell you how many drafts I have saved in a futile effort to put my thoughts to paper, or the blog if you will. It seems I end up talking about weather, kids, computer issues, all valid topics, when instead I want to try and convey the many things going through me at this moment.
That need for someone, company, perhaps companionship, is still present and quite strong. If this compnay was here, I wonder if I might run into the same issue of talking about this and that, rather than sharing those things deep inside myself. It seems over the years, for various reasons, I’ve become quite a private person, almost hermit like, as someone had asked me. Perhaps it was my need to feel safe from things that would hurt me, perhaps it was just too many years of no one really listening. The things I’ve managed to blog here are amazing to me, little pieces of me but bits and pieces just the same.
Now it seems those things that have been waiting beneath the surface are ready to be heard. These are not bad things for the most part, they are my hopes, my dreams, my past and my present, the pieces that make me who I am. It is my hope that I will find someone to listen, really listen, not an easy skill and one that I don’t always do well. It is in my nature to want to make it better. Others may want to give advice, when really all the person wants is just someone to hear them. Certainly I know I have listeners here, apparently from all parts of the world. Cluster Maps are a fascinating thing.
I’ve made some new friends recently and I’ve found some souls that seem to understand many of the things that I feel. As with all people, they have many things going on in their lives as well. I’m hoping we can make listening something we can do for each other. If not I suppose I could write a book about my journey through this life, an idea I have recently entertained. For now I will continue to try and put small pieces of myself here on the pages of this blog, and perhaps over time I will be able to paint a true picture of the person behind the words.