Yesterday I launched a private blog, one where I am writing down things from my past and thoughts about it from my present. I decided to do this to help me put things in place to start writing. It’s too personal yet for me to have the bravery to share it other than anonymously but perhaps someday I will link it up.
Last summer, when I found myself going through sudden changes, I wrote these things in a journals for the first time. It was as if I had to lose myself to start discovering who I was. It was not a pleasant journey but one that was necessary after years of burying emotions. As I wrote the first entry on the blog I realized how much has changed since the day I set the pen to that first journal. It’s almost as if I’m on the outside looking in at someone else’s life.It’s amazing to look back at your life and see who you were long ago before the influences around you may have taken the person you were and carved her into someone else. It’s like a rediscovery for me, “oh yes, I remember her.” I’m hoping more of this girl I was once so long ago can start to surface as I write about my life. There are bits of her that rear up from time to time and it always surprises people who see me as I am now.
Perhaps this person I am now, this woman who moves with the moon, has been inside since the beginning, only to be lost for a time and now starting the process of rebirth.