This morning I’m sitting here staring at the screen trying to decide what to write. I don’t know why this is such an issue as there are many thoughts spinning around in my head. There are so many things I want to write about, maybe that is the problem, not being able to sort them out.
Here we are the new moon again, time moving past quickly. The energy of this time is joining with the energy of the season. As Halloween or Samhain approaches, those things that sometimes wander into my world are likely to become ever more present. Last year at this time, all of this was very new to me. I had no idea what was happening to me, nor did I expect any “visitors.” Channeling started with someone far away, someone I knew only in a way I can’t explain, and with whom I felt an immediate bond as if we’d known one another before. That bond has grown stronger and that channeling more intense. Energy became a concept outside of a book, one I could not grasp until it grasped me, and one I have had to work hard to control. Early on I learned what negative energy felt like, long before I had the resources to deal with it. I started to feel the presence of others with me on occasion, most times the one mentioned earlier. Sometimes it was an unidentified presence, last Halloween the presence of a departed relative. That was a moving visit, one where I again did not see, but felt a strong sorrow fill the room. It was not my sorrow but his, and to this day I wonder why he chose me and what he was trying to say. Most importantly, what I looked for in books and the answers I sought from others, I found deep within. I’m still looking for some of them. Now when I ask for guidance I ask for the divine from within to grow stronger.
One year has come and gone and I find myself no surer of where my path will lead than I was then. What I am sure of is what is real and what has come to me. I feel there must be a reason for all this, destiny if you will. It’s not something I can bring up over a coffee to be sure and so I guard it carefully in my personal life. This is not always an easy path as I discover who I am, perhaps who I’ve always been. It’s a bit like chipping away at a large rock trying to get to what is waiting inside. I’m getting closer as I see first of that jewel sparkling in the moonlight.