It’s been a busy few days with work and then the holidays. There was little time to write and though my heart and soul seemed to be filled with things I wanted to say, bringing them to the page during the holiday frenzy was not something I could accomplish.
After all the work and whining(on my part), the holiday turned out to be very quiet as usual and I sat wondering why I make it into such a task every year. Truly I know that tradition in my house must change in order to breath some life and spirit back into it for me and avoid the appearance of the Christmas Shrew for everyone else. Last night as I enjoyed an early quiet evening, before midnight in my house, I found the favorite part of things for me is looking at the dark room illuminated by the shimmer of lights from the trees. The deck covered with a foot of sparkling snow was also accented by the lights that lined the rails.
Now that the frenzy of the two days is over, the urge to hike through the snow to the lake is strong and I think that is where my evening will take me. What could be more lovely than a snow covered landscape, the moon lighting my way. My inner person is waiting to write as my heart has been full of many thoughts these past few days. It seems once we begin a journey, discovering and making turns on the road we are forever changed and those things we find are now part of us for life. There is no turning back for me, those things I have found cannot be pushed away while life goes on as before. When I deny the person inside, living life as it was once, it is a lonely road, a lesson taught well over the past few days, one I will truly never forget.
Tonight if you look for me, you will find me walking through the snow, under the moon and stars, back where I belong, my inner voice speaking with the things that are forever part of me, and listening for the messages that might come my way.