The gentle spring has hidden herself away, reminding us that winter is still here and just how harsh she can be. This morning it was almost 40 below and I feel for all the creatures of the earth who make their homes out in nature. Thankfully I am in my warm house looking outside at a deceptively sunny day. The wind is no longer howling as it was for the past two days while the temperatures went from 40 above to 20 below. The dog is stir crazy and slowly driving me there as well. There will be no walks in this weather as it is just too cold and I’ve spent the last few days fighting a cold of my own. It’s amazing how much a person can cough but things are finally getting better.
Last night as I sat here my son was falling asleep early and I was excited, thinking I would get some much needed alone time, that is except for the dog, and be able to write about all the things that were spinning in my head. Alas he did not stay asleep, thanks to the dog, and was up late chattering at me. We shared some good laughter so it was time well spent. I did chat with a friend very late last night and I got to thinking after we talked, is this why women take so long to discover themselves? Is it a big conspiracy this life thing, filled with all the obligations of caring for others that keeps us from having the time to think? Is this why so many of us stumble along for half our lives before we stop and say “who am I?”
Certainly for me this has been the case, my life filled with children and less than palatable partners, topped by a career as a caregiver. One day someone asked me,”what do you like,” and I was shocked when I realized I didn’t know. Now it’s just a journey of discovery, one where I have been shown some things, but still have much to find out on my own. If only I could find the time. Such is life.