Thoughts on a Windy Day

It seems it’s always hard to write anything when I’m first out of bed with my cup of coffee in hand.  I spend that time blog browsing as sometimes I get shamefully behind with visits. Today one of my blogrollers had spring pictures posted of daffodils and other pics from his garden. It was a wonderful sight and it was almost as if I could smell the first air of spring.  Sometimes the smallest thing can give you a jump-start on a winters day.  

Today is my oldest sons birthday. He is twenty six.  He has not spoken to me for a year and I miss him terribly. He realized several years ago that I was not perfect and in fact was fallible like most people on this earth. Apparently it was more than he could bear and he has spoken to me on and off, more off since that time. I can still see the room where he was born and I can hear the high pitched giggle of the little blonde boy.  I am terribly proud of him despite our differences and I love him very much. I hope he knows that. Perhaps one day, as he grows a bit older, he will realize I did the best I could and frankly I did a pretty good job when he was growing up.  Life is the great teacher and he is young.  

My mind is wandering to many places today, to a birthing room, spring gardens and to far away places that call to me.  Amidst it all the everyday trappings of life remind me that I’m still here with a job to do.  

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One thought on “Thoughts on a Windy Day

  1. I feel the sadness in your words. They fill me with a sense of dispair. I believe that things (including pain and suffering) happen for a reason. Maybe you were meant to suffer for the moment. One day none will matter, just love for the moment. Miss for the moment…and know that all is known in the universe, even by your son…

    Peace and solace on you my friend…

    There is a peace here as well. I can’t pin it down exactly but there are other things pulling at me, other longings and those far away places and those who wait there. I don’t know what to make of it all right now but I know it will all be clear to me one day.

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