Over the last couple of days I started about four posts here that ended up in draft waiting no doubt to be deleted. I’ve been working on a private journal, not as easy as it sounded, and posting work by others due to an inability to produce anything to say.
There is something stirring in me and I feel very out of sorts with the world. I feel as if I am walking in my own space separate from others, and when trying to speak the words end up choked in my throat. When I am able to write anything on other sites, it feels like I have written it in a different language. It must be so because no one seems to understand what I am trying to say.
Even in the most private of spaces, where I am writing for myself, I still struggle with words. Perhaps it is just a time where I need to be quiet and listen, but the frustration is mounting and I want to scream, at least for a moment.
Since I cannot articulate what I am feeling, I will stop now and come back later. I think I need to just go sit by the water for a while.