How funny it is when you have a thought and someone else echoes that thought back to you. Today a friend mentioned the absence of my words here and wondered if I was posting my thoughts elsewhere. During the chaos of the last three months I could not find words and began posting those of others. After doing this for a bit, I started looking at my own, wondering if they could hold up around such beauty. This coupled with extreme fatigue interfered with my ability to write, generating more drafts than you can imagine. I had forgotten how even “good stress” can leave you tired beyond belief and it all caught up with me about a week ago. The words are there circling around and through me, non stop, like a book waiting to be written. Perhaps one day I will take on that book, as the beginnings have come to me and wait only for me to find the time.
Over the weekend, the topic of love became a focus for me. I know I write about it a bit more than some would care for, but it is a driving force in my soul, one that started these words, opening a place in me that I never knew existed. I thought about taking chances in love and those I know who have done so, some with heartbreaking results, but others finding themselves in the relationship of a lifetime. As I thought of one such person and the chance she is now taking, I remembered that I am not so different. The love that I have experienced is very unexplainable. Who am I to tell her she should not embrace love when it finds her. Who are others to stand on the sidelines of our lives, telling us what we would feel, for whom and when. Of course there are situations, reckless and hurtful, but this is not love, at least not in my book.
My life has been spent alone for the greater part, a couple of not so good relationships long since past. I was content to keep it that way as there was no love out there for me. I still live without a partner but I am not alone, merely living on my own. There is a deep contentment in the knowledge that indeed there is such a love out there and though mine came to me in an unexpected way it fills my life like nothing else can. I will not try to explain it further as I have found over time it is easier to keep silent about the details of my heart. As I write away, I am not sure where I am trying to go with this but when love finds you, go to it. Do not wait for the right moment, the right time or the approval of others. Your heart knows the way if you will only listen.