The house is asleep, and I am listening to the quiet of the night. After falling asleep early and having terrible dreams I sit in the wee hours of night with my thoughts. I have had great difficulty writing anything over the last couple of weeks, not for lack of thoughts, but for the inability to express those thoughts.
The need for spring weighs heavily on many of us I think, at least I know it does for me. I am hoping nice weather and the time to explore it brings, will allow me to finally feel some sort of contentment, something I cannot seem to find. There is a part of me that feels a bit lost right now and there is a feeling of resignation as well. Some of it is just memories of things no longer here and some is a longing for people and places not yet embraced. I do not wish to vanish into this life, resigned to finding the things I need in the next and yet some days, this is, I think, the life that I have been given. Once again I look at these words and realize I cannot explain those things deep inside me.
Tonight there is a soft snow and the gentle sound that comes with it. It is the snow of late winter light and quick to melt, a reminder that spring is coming and the earth will soon wake from a long slumber. Perhaps I will awaken with it and find the words as abundant as the many colors of spring.
“The soul can not think without a picture.”