The April snow has come in the night, leaving the trees frosted with a soft white snow, one barely frozen, falling amidst the signs of spring. I stood on the deck and heard the birds sing, the geese with their noisy morning banter, and in the distance I could hear a Loon call. It is a haunting call, one that leads to thoughts of places far away, and thoughts of solitude, at least for me. I was surprised to hear it, but it has been that kind of week, one reminding me of past, and of the present and those things I dear.
The other night I turned on a movie, the name not important. It was a nice movie set by the ocean and as it began and the story was being woven, I found myself lost in that ocean and the sounds of the waves moving against the shore. I do not understand how the water can call to me in a voice so unmistakable but I found myself lost in it, teary with the need to be there, walking in the sand, or even just sitting on the rocks with my thoughts. Feelings of the past washed over me and I felt as if I had been there before, and the voice of the waves was calling me back again to a home I once knew. It is all very silly I suppose, such thoughts, but they were powerful. The story line of that movie was lost as I faded into my own story, the words heard from a place deep in my soul. I will probably watch it again, that movie, for the ocean and emotions it brought to me.
Though it is beautiful here with the first of spring making its way to us, there was a strong message of how much I need solitude, preferably by the water. I do not know when I will find this time, but the need grows ever stronger each day. I love those close to me and do not wish them absent from my life. I only wish a bit of time to lose myself in a place where my soul can find the way. Perhaps with this solitude I would remember this person who walked by the water one lifetime ago, and understand why the sound of the ocean brought such tears and longing to my heart.
It has been a long night at work and it is time to find peace in dreams. Maybe I will dream of the water and sit on those rocks for a while, feeling the mist as it carries over me in the breeze.