Here I am, out under the stars, laptop in tow, something I have been meaning to do for many days. The house is quiet as it should be in the wee hours and I am thinking of many things. The flu bug plaguing me has passed and I seem to be hearing the whispers of the moon and stars. Perhaps it is just that I am listening better.
Sixteen years ago today I was hearing the cries of another woman as I waited for the arrival of my youngest son, the sudden memory of labor pain becoming crystal clear. I can see that room down to the last detail, as I can see the rooms where I labored with my daughter and my oldest son. It is amazing to me how such things stay in the mind while the actual process become clouded over time. As I watched him sleep earlier tonight, it was amazing to me how that little baby with the blonde white hair sticking straight up in the air, has morphed into the beginnings of a man, tall and strong. He towers over me now, by over a foot, and his hands once small dwarf mine in size. He is a good person, a heart filled with generosity and kindness and he loves the creatures of the earth, something I suspect will be a lifelong love and possibly career of some sort. The dog, three cats, three mice, one frog and the new praying mantis nursery, yes you heard me right, praying mantis nursery, hold testimony to that love.
Today we spent his birthday out and about and for the first time in over a year, he cut his hair. It does not sound like much I suppose but I looked at it for that year and hoped for this day. The last time he combed it out wet, it was longer than mine. Please note, I have nothing against a man with long hair, but a boy lost in ponds and nature is not a good candidate. His hair is not short but it is the first time I have had a look at his face, a really good look, in quite some time. I could not stop staring at him today, wondering whose chin he has and how on earth he came away with blue green eyes.
It is not quite his birthday yet, as I waited a bit longer, until afternoon. He arrived at the appropriate time, 1:42pm, a late sleeper from the beginning. I will not bore you with labor stories, the stuff of new mothers. Giving birth is an unforgettable experience, but life as we journey down that road is just so much more.