This has been an active twenty four hours. Though I have been a bit short for words my mind has been busy thinking and my fingers busy decorating blogs. I find decorating is very relaxing when I cannot express myself. Expression has always been a bit of an issue with me, most of my emotions finding their way to the page rather than face to face with others. It is not the best quality and one that I am certain has frustrated more than one acquaintance. To some it may appear I have no courage and in that they are somewhat correct. In some parts of my life I am fearless but it is difficult to take chances when it involves opening myself to others. There may be words waiting to spill from me and yet they will remain cautiously contained.
Getting back to the decorating issues, I worked and worked on this sounding a bit like the three bears, as I grumbled with size and color trying to find the right fit. I succeed in the wee hours of night getting the code to work for a stunning set of backgrounds I had found. Alas, upon opening the blog today, the design was gone and my plain periwinkle page remained. So I found the tried and true backgrounds I had used before and moved on. Last night I culled my blog on the community site, not just posts but the entire blog. I did not delete my identity as I thought better of the situation and my foul mood. It was a wise move as this morning I decided I needed to begin again and so I did. The blog name went back to the original name of two years ago and I changed some other things to the way they had been in the beginning. I do not know why but it was strangely liberating and I found this piece of me returned. Now I need only to cull a person or two in that community as I have vowed to have nothing whatsoever to do with anything that resembles trouble. That said, there was more. I really was into the mood yesterday and opened a new blog, one for pure humor, something I felt the site needed. It was an alter ego, something despite what others say, I have not had before. I slaved on the decorations and header, finding just the right look and posted a few things. This evening when going in to check the site I found it gone. Heading to my email I discovered a paragraph in German, describing my offenses, none of which I can remember having done. I put it on translate and it was no more than a generic, “choose one” sort of explanation. I wrote back explaining that I could not possibly recall what I had done and letting them know in two years of pro blogging on their site, I had never had one issue. An explanation would have been nice rather than an out and out deletion. I am really wondering now who came in and perhaps had some fun with my new blog. Sounds crazy, but I have seen it happen.
Tonight I have been sticking to words and hoping no more issues come my way. The evening is beautiful and the songs of twilight are just beginning. My son has crashed for the night and I plan to spend this much needed time outside with the moon and I am hoping some fireflies.