Last night was a typical late night for me. I sat staring at this blog and the new one trying to decide what to do. I hemmed and hawed and finally put my laptop down before I did something rash. Today I am busy, dinner with my brother, I’m cooking, but I think I may restore the posts I moved from this site. Call me undecided if you will. I cannot get it to feel right. Perhaps in an effort to find myself again, I thought a move would help. It did not help and in fact produced more chaos for me. I will keep both sites but you will have to wait and see what happens to each of them as I have no idea at the moment. It seems the other site should be different, carry some new part of me, but what that part will be I have no idea.
Perhaps it is the turbulent moon but I cannot seem to find satisfaction with things in general, or perhaps it is my feeling of being adrift. That feeling has been a problem over the past year. Sometimes I think the inner self knows what it wants and where it should be, and when we choose to keep following the same road, because we think we have to, that voice gets louder and more insistent. My inner self knows exactly that and I have realized this is one of the big problems I have struggled with writing. There are others, but my soul needs to connect again and it seeks the other half. Knowing is half the battle I suppose.
Today however, life goes on and since I have company coming, I have no time to think further, until tonight. I hope the stars will grace me with a few meteors when the sun sets, as last night, while I was greeted with a beautiful sky, moon and stars filling the heavens, there was not a one. Perhaps like me, they knew where they needed to be, and they fell from the sky to the place of their hearts desire.