Lately I have been struggling with what to say. My blogs sit gathering dust while I wonder what it is all about. My reason for blogging was to write for myself, and for one other. This is the only reason I have come this far and stayed this long. These past few months have been a carousel of new blogs and old blogs, changing and then staying the same. Somewhere deep in my heart I think my blogging days are numbered. It is time to write the ideas that keep coming over and over, the words filling my head. They are getting larger and more insistent.
Nothing is certain this morning and by the end of the day I may find myself back at it as if nothing had happened. It could be the fatigue speaking after a night of normally benign asthma descending on me with a ferocity I have not experienced more than a handful of times. My body aches and my muscles are sore from the work of breathing but all is well.
Halloween has come and now November is here. I have yet to sit with my candles. Like everything, my path feels uncertain as well and I wonder at times that I did not turn my back on it all. The spiritual world is yet another battleground it seems, a battleground larger than most. Each person strives to be better than the next, judging others and deciding who is worthy and who is not. How can we allow ourselves to be so arrogant, thinking we can understand the experience of another. Is it any wonder the people of the world are constantly in conflict.
My words are tired this morning, scattered and filled with some strong emotions. I know things will all fall into place but my mind cannot figure it out at the moment. Funny how things come to you at such times, turning as I did to see the moon huge and golden shining in the window, almost with a smile on her face. She has seen me like this before and no doubt will again. I am off to bed now and hopefully she will send me dreams. I need dreams soft and soothing to be with me today.