The snow has stopped leaving the cold north wind howling at my windows. The shades have been drawn, the door cozy put in place to help keep the house as warm as possible. Last night the wind was so strong it was blowing snow under the deck door. The dog is crazy today, with repeated visits outside as if she thinks it will suddenly be warm again if only she tries one more time.
In spite of it all, there is a magic in the air, perhaps just the season of the year, but I feel it, a powerful energy, an even stronger surge of emotion. Today has been spent enjoying music and spirits, letting the words warm up inside of me, some tender and some filled with fire. Thankfully there are those who hear me and understand no matter where they are in this world. Seems the best of them are far away, those I hold as friends and those I hold close to my heart. It is amazing where you find people and you wonder about life without connections and how it would drift by you without knowing anything but what was close by. I wonder if there would always be a place inside, always searching for that missing piece.
The house is as yet not decorated and again I am fine with it, to a point. I would like some show of Yule and was hoping to create it today. However, the house is quiet as those around me are in hibernation, except the dog. So I spend a quiet day and leave my tasks for another time. Often I find myself doing such tasks in the wee hours, a time when my body normally works and one that comes naturally for me. As is tradition my decorations go up in the bitter cold. It seems no matter how good my intentions it always comes to this.
There are books by my beside, about six of them waiting for me. The cold weather seems like just the right time to start them and so I did last night. It seems like I am going back to the beginning, working to find myself and find what fits. My candles sit waiting for me and I hope to light them soon, as I begin again.